Page 8 - Tom Steyer Issue

HUMOR THERAPY
Virus 2020
looking stubble. The crazy thing is I didn’t have to deal with using shaving cream, which would take more effort, no, I use an electric shaver. All I had to do was push the button to turn it on then just hold it to my face. And yet, I likened in to climbing Mount Fuji.
Remember the old days when you used to have to get up in the morning and go to work. It seems so long ago. This coronavirus has certainly taken its toll on the econ- omy but, on the upside, it has given a lot of people a sweet vacation. I wonder how many people used their time productively to those things they claimed they never had time to do like paint a room, weed the garden, throw out the Tupperware that doesn’t have a top that fits, clear out the unworn clothing in your closet (hot pants went out of style in the 70s), clean the clutter off the counter where, I’ll guarantee you’ll find a bill that was supposed to be paid six months ago. Soon you’ll be asked to return back to your place of an employment and, just like that, the party’s over. The clock is ticking to get these things done that you promised yourself you would do if you only had the time. So far, the only thing you have to show for your two-month virus sabbatical is you binge watched a slew of Netflix movies and you fed the cat.
The virus seemed to attack me in a different way. It made me lazier than I already was. I wore my clothes more days then I typically would. It didn’t matter if I had spilled something on it or they just smelled. I was lockdown in my house. The only ones I had of judging me were the FedEx guy or the Grub hub dude. I could care less if either one of them said I looked like a slob. Ok, I’m lying, it would still hurt. I even got lazy making dinners. I just had meals delivered and the leftovers would last a few days. But soon, I found myself too lazy to call a restaurant and place an order. Where’s the phone? Oh yeah, it’s in the other room. Oh well, I’ll just have some crackers for dinner. It’s too hard putting something in the microwave. You got to push those but- tons and stuff. The only thing that prevents me from ordering out every night is they always ask for money to pay for your order. It’s strange when the bring your order to your house because a masked person sets your stuff down like ten feet from you like some kind of leper. “Cover thy self, oh diseased one and heed thy dis- tance. I have your set your nightly feast over yonder on the brick pathway.”
I developed a few bad habits thanks to the virus. I stay up a lot later than I used to which means I get up later. I lie in bed thinking what I have to do. There is nothing opened. I really do have a valid excuse not to go work out. The virus handed me that golden ticket. I guess I could do some exercises a home but again I ask myself, why? If I can’t go out anywhere than I don’t see any people, why do I need to look good? I also don’t shave as much. I don’t know why. It’s not like it some huge task that going to take up the whole day like cleaning the garage. I had to gear myself up and build up my strength to go in the bathroom and take off that bum-
I can’t stand that mask wearing. It makes me feel claus- trophobic. I rip it off as soon as I get out of the store. For a while I refused to wear one. Then, one day while
8 ABILITY